You miss how easy it used to feel between you.

You could once get a conversation going without thinking much about it. Now a question about her day can get a one-word answer, while a reminder you meant kindly turns into an argument.

You know she’s growing up. You want her to have friends, opinions and a life of her own. You’d still love to hear about it.

Sometimes you aren’t sure whether to ask another question or leave her alone. When she’s upset about something at school, you want to help, but your advice seems to make things worse. You might replay a conversation later, wishing you’d listened for longer or said it differently.

Then there are the moments when she finally wants to talk and you’re trying to finish work, get dinner sorted or get some sleep. You care about what she’s saying. You also have very little left.

You miss the easy laugh. Doing something together because you both want to. Feeling part of her world without having to pull every detail out of her.

Some of your friends seem to have that easy relationship with their daughters. They talk about shopping together, long chats or something funny their daughter told them. You’re happy for them, but it can hurt when things feel so different at home.

You might find yourself wondering what they’re doing differently, or why something that seems so natural for them feels so hard for you.

And you want to feel more confident about how you handle this stage, rather than second-guessing yourself after another difficult afternoon.

How do you stay close while she’s growing up?

Friendships, school pressures, strong opinions and more independence can bring situations you haven’t had to navigate together before.

There may be teenage hormones in the mix, alongside your own experience of midlife. On a day when you’re tired or feeling more sensitive yourself, finding the patience for another emotional conversation can feel especially hard. We make room for what you’re experiencing too, while looking at the whole situation rather than assuming hormones explain everything.

You want her to feel comfortable coming to you. You want to be able to hear something difficult without rushing to fix it, hold a boundary when it matters, and find your way back after a disagreement.

That takes practice. It also asks something of you: enough capacity to notice your own response, think about what’s needed and choose how you want to handle it.

We work on both. The conversations and choices in front of you, and what helps you approach them with more steadiness. That includes your own stress responses, the load you’re carrying, the support around you and the parts of life that help you feel energised again.

Become a role model you feel proud of.

You can invite your daughter to talk or do something together. Whether she joins you is her choice. That can be hard when you miss her company, but there is still something you can work on: how you live, how you respond and how you treat yourself.

She gets to see you have an opinion, make time for a friendship and try something you aren’t already good at. She can hear you ask for help, hold a boundary or say, “I wish I’d handled that differently. Let me try again.”

You want her to see a woman who enjoys her life and cares about the people in it. Someone who has interests of her own and is willing to listen to hers. Someone she looks up to, and might one day think, “I’d like to be that kind of mum.”

That starts with choices you feel proud of yourself. We work on putting them into practice, including on the days when she isn’t impressed or doesn’t want to join in.

Fun is fuel.

When your days are mostly about keeping everything moving, even a small interruption can feel like another demand. You may find yourself managing your daughter’s day more often than enjoying being with her.

“Fun is fuel” is the idea behind making enjoyable, meaningful experiences a regular part of your life. A swim, a proper catch-up with a friend, or trying something you’ve been curious about gives you something of your own to look forward to and participate in.

Alongside that, we look at the demands that need to change, the responsibilities you could share and the boundaries that would help. We pay attention to what supports your energy and patience in practice.

Your daughter also gets to see more of you: your interests, your friendships, your willingness to have a go. Some experiences you might share. Others give you something to tell her about, opening a conversation that has nothing to do with what either of you needs to get done.

Your Fun Prescription gives enjoyment a place in the plan.

A Fun Prescription starts with something you want to experience and makes it specific enough to act on: what you’ll do, when you’ll do it, and what you need to arrange.

It might include something for yourself and an easy opportunity to spend time with your daughter. Getting back into swimming. Seeing a friend. Inviting her to choose some music while you make a snack together. The choices need to suit your interests, circumstances and her willingness to join in.

Together, we consider:

What you miss, enjoy or feel curious about now.
What fits your energy, budget and responsibilities.
What needs to be arranged, shared or simplified so it can happen.
What you’ll try if the original plan changes.

Then you try it. We use what you notice to shape the next choice.

If you’ve joined the Fun Prescription masterclass, you’ll have started with one thing, on one day. Activation helps you build that into your month, alongside the other parts of life that need attention.

The Fun Prescription sits alongside our work on listening, boundaries and responding to difficult moments. We look at how all of those parts fit together in your week.

Here’s what we’re working towards.

More present: when she starts telling you something, you can give her your attention or agree a time to return to it and follow through. You practise listening to understand before deciding what to say.

More responsive: you notice when you’re getting worked up and practise pausing before answering. You have words for a limit, a difficult conversation or an apology when you need one.

More resilient: a hard exchange can still hurt, but you have ways to reflect, seek support and return to the relationship. You can reconsider your approach without deciding that one difficult day says everything about you as a mum.

More opportunities to connect: you make invitations, share an interest and notice the moments when being together feels easier. There’s space for enjoyment alongside the responsibilities of parenting.

Proud of the example you’re setting: you practise the things you hope she’ll feel able to do herself, such as asking for support, respecting her needs, trying something new and taking responsibility after a mistake.

Those are the changes we work on together. Her interests and responses will still be her own. Our focus is what you can choose, practise and build into your life.

The Fun Mum Formula

Reconnect with your daughter by reconnecting with yourself first.

The five pillars work together to support the woman you are and the mum you want to be, through her teenage years and your own midlife changes. They help us see what needs attention, from the demands on your energy to the way you connect and the things you have to look forward to.

Inside Activation, we work out what that means for you. The course gives you the teaching and practical examples; our coaching conversations help you apply them to the week, relationship and situation you’re actually in.

01

Regulate

Nervous system & energy

You want enough left to listen when your daughter starts talking, and a little more space to think before you respond when things get tense. That’s difficult when you’ve spent the day remembering, organising and taking care of everyone.

How this helps

Regulate helps you understand your stress responses and recognise five everyday energy leaks: the mental load, being the default person, sensory demands, your surroundings and having little space for your own needs. Understanding what is asking so much of you gives us somewhere specific to make a change.

We work towards recognising your limits earlier, reducing demands where possible and finding what helps you settle. That matters when her emotions are strong and you’re having a difficult day yourself.

What your daughter gets to see: a mum practising how to pause, communicate what she needs and return to a conversation with more attention. Someone who can take responsibility for her response, including when she wishes she’d handled it differently.

02

Reclaim

Identity

You were someone before you became everyone’s everything. As your daughter becomes more independent, there can be space to ask what you want now, even if the answer feels different from what you wanted ten years ago.

How this helps

Reclaim is about trusting your opinions, recognising your needs and making choices you feel proud of. We look at the guilt and expectations that can make it hard to say yes to yourself or hold a reasonable limit with someone else.

Being clearer about what matters to you gives you something to come back to when a decision is unpopular or you start second-guessing yourself. You can care deeply about your daughter’s feelings while still having needs and a point of view of your own.

What your daughter gets to see: a woman with interests, friendships and ambitions, who values herself as well as her family. You’re showing her what it can look like to be a caring mum and have a life of your own.

03

Reconnect

Relationships

You miss the easy conversation and want her to feel comfortable coming to you. You also want to know how to stay connected when she disagrees with you, wants more privacy or doesn’t seem interested in spending time together.

How this helps

Reconnect focuses on listening, communicating clearly and finding your way back after a hard moment. We explore how to offer support without immediately taking over, keep a boundary without turning every disagreement into a battle, and leave room for her growing independence.

We look at the relationships supporting you, too. Having adults you can turn to gives your own worries and needs somewhere to go as you navigate this stage.

What your daughter gets to experience: opportunities to be heard, clearer communication and a mum willing to repair after a disagreement. You’re working towards a relationship with room for different opinions, affection and enjoyment as she grows up.

04

Rediscover

Fun & fulfilment

You want something that leaves you smiling and thinking, “I’d love to do that again.” Rediscover helps you explore what you used to enjoy, what appeals now and what you’re curious enough to try.

How this helps

Having enjoyable experiences of your own gives you something to anticipate, participate in and talk about. It can also open opportunities to share a different side of yourself with your daughter, beyond keeping family life organised.

We look for your kind of fun, with options that fit your circumstances. Some may become things you enjoy together. Others can remain yours, even when her tastes are completely different.

What your daughter gets to see: you being a beginner, missing the shot and having another go. Maybe she joins in or comes to watch. Maybe you tell her about it afterwards. You’re living an example of being curious and willing to try.

05

Redesign

Your Fun Prescription & rhythm

You want these changes to have a place in everyday life, beyond the week when you first feel motivated. Redesign brings together your energy needs, priorities, relationships and interests in your personal Fun Prescription.

How this helps

We work out what needs to happen around the plan: the time, support, shared responsibilities and boundaries that make it realistic. Then we review what happened and adapt when school, work, family needs or your own capacity changes.

The outcome we’re working towards is a rhythm you can return to. You have ways to keep your needs visible, create opportunities for connection and begin again after a difficult week.

What your daughter gets to see: “Mum’s netball” in the diary alongside her plans. Time you’ve chosen to spend together. A family week that makes room for your interests too, with flexibility when either of you needs something different.

Putting the Formula into practice with me

We start with what’s happening now. Perhaps an after-school conversation keeps ending badly, you’re unsure how to express a limit, or a plan for yourself keeps being pushed aside.

We use the relevant pillars to understand the situation and choose something to try. You put it into practice, bring back what happened, and we work out what to keep or adjust. As your daughter grows and your own needs change, we can apply the same Formula to the next situation.

You can bring me the bit that didn’t go to plan.

You might understand the lesson and still struggle with the moment you need to use it.

Your daughter tells you about a friendship problem, you offer advice, and the conversation closes. You hold a boundary, then spend the evening wondering whether you were too firm. You want to go back after an argument but don’t know how to begin.

That’s useful material for coaching.

Through one-to-one messages, you can tell me what you tried, what happened and where you got stuck. We look at the details and work out a next step that fits you.

We might talk through what you noticed in yourself, practise a different opening, or separate the boundary you want to keep from the way you expressed it. We can also look at what was happening around that moment: competing demands, tiredness or a need for support you hadn’t voiced.

You have someone to think it through with while you’re putting it into practice.

As she moves through the teen years, new situations will come up.

At first, you might want help with the tension after school or the feeling that every conversation becomes an instruction. Later, it could be holding a limit while she asks for more independence, listening through a friendship upset, or finding something you still enjoy doing together.

Your own circumstances change, too. A busy stretch at work, school holidays or a change in family arrangements can make a previously workable routine harder to maintain.

Ongoing coaching gives you somewhere to bring those situations as they arise. We look at what you’ve tried, practise how you want to respond and adjust the support and plans around you. Your Fun Prescription changes with your week; our conversations follow what you need help navigating now.

Month by month, we can build on what you’re learning: noticing your reactions earlier, communicating more clearly, returning after a hard moment and finding opportunities to enjoy each other. Those experiences give us something concrete to review and develop.

The aim is for you to become more confident making those choices yourself, with personal support while it’s useful to you.

What working together includes

One-to-one message coaching with me

Bring the everyday conversations, parenting decisions and personal pressures you want help thinking through. We work on your response, the practical support you need and your next step, with the mother–daughter connection in mind.

The Fun Mum Activation course

The five pillars are taught through short lessons, practical examples and small actions. You’ll have a framework to refer to between coaching conversations, with teaching designed to work through at your own pace.

Your personal Fun Prescription

Build a plan around what you enjoy, what matters to you and what’s realistic now. Use your experience of trying it to decide what to keep, adapt or explore next.

We start with your life as it is now.

First, we get clear on what feels difficult between you. When do conversations tend to go off track? What do you miss about being together? What is being asked of you at those moments, and what have you already tried?

Then we choose a manageable starting point. That might be practising a listening response, changing a demanding after-school routine or making a low-pressure invitation. We include what you need for your own capacity, and use the relevant lessons to support the change.

You try it, and we work with what happens. You can bring the awkward conversation, the plan you postponed or the thing that felt better than expected. We use that information to decide what comes next.

You can return to any pillar as it becomes relevant. There’s no requirement to complete one module every week.

Hi, I’m Hayley.

Hayley Ryan, Occupational Therapist and mum of 3

I’m an Occupational Therapist, a business owner and a mum of 3.

I’ve spent plenty of time getting through the week, keeping a brave face and putting my own plans last. I’ve had to work on boundaries, guilt and making choices for myself while raising children, navigating divorce and co-parenting.

Raising daughters through the tween and teen years has meant navigating friendships, school, strong feelings and changing independence. I’ve worked on listening to their perspectives, staying open to a conversation and taking responsibility for my own part when things are difficult. I’m still doing that work.

These days, gym, time with friends and trying different activities give me things of my own to look forward to. My kids hear about what I’ve tried, what I enjoyed and what I wasn’t particularly good at. Sometimes they join in. Sometimes we end up talking about it late at night.

I like including them in my world, as well as being interested in theirs.

My OT background shapes how I approach this work: looking at what matters to you, what you do each day, the demands around you and the changes that could make participation easier.

That professional perspective, alongside my own experience of motherhood, is what I bring to our coaching.

Is this the support you’re looking for?

Fun Mum Activation is for mums of daughters aged 9–17 who miss feeling connected and want support to navigate these years with more confidence, resilience and presence.

It may suit you if conversations feel harder than they used to, you’re unsure how to balance boundaries with independence, or you know how you’d like to respond but find that difficult when you’re tired or under pressure.

You don’t need to wait for things to become seriously strained. Wanting to understand your own responses and strengthen the way you connect gives us somewhere to start.

The coaching is for you. Your daughter doesn’t need to enrol, complete lessons or join in with your activities. This offer focuses on Mum’s everyday life and choices; it isn’t a service for treating your daughter or managing an acute family crisis.

A few things you might be wondering

What if my daughter doesn’t want to spend time with me?

We can work on how you approach her, offer invitations and respond when she wants space. She doesn’t have to take part for you to begin. We’ll focus on the choices available to you, without treating a declined invitation as a verdict on the relationship or promising a particular response from her.

How does doing something enjoyable help with the teen years?

Your Fun Prescription is one part of the work. It gives personally meaningful experiences a place in your week, alongside changes to demands and support. We also directly practise listening, boundaries and repair. We pay attention to what helps you feel more available and how you bring that into everyday moments with your daughter.

What if I don’t know what I enjoy anymore?

We can start there. We’ll explore what you used to enjoy, what catches your attention now and what you’re curious about. You can try something without deciding it has to become your new hobby.

I’m already busy. How will I fit this in?

We look at the week you actually have, including the responsibilities that need to stay. Sometimes the first useful change is simplifying a task or asking for support. You can work through the lessons at your own pace and start with one practical action.

Will I need to spend money on activities?

Your budget is part of the plan. A walk, an ocean swim or time with a friend can sit alongside a paid class or outing if that interests you. We choose experiences for their relevance to you, with the cost and practical arrangements considered.

Is this parenting coaching?

We work on how you navigate everyday life with your daughter, including listening, boundaries, repair and shared enjoyment. We also address your own capacity and support, because those matter when you put the ideas into practice. The coaching is with Mum; it doesn’t provide treatment for your daughter or cover every parenting difficulty.

What happens after I finish the course?

You can keep using the Formula and applying what you’ve learned. If you continue with coaching, we work with the new or recurring situations you want support with: a conversation, a boundary, a change in your daughter’s independence or a demanding period for you. The course gives you the framework; your actual experiences guide the ongoing work.

How does message coaching work?

You send me the question or situation you want help with, and we work through it by message. Before you join, you’ll receive the details of the support channel, reply times and access included. Message coaching doesn’t mean an immediate or round-the-clock reply.

How do I get started?

Book a 15-minute discovery call with me on Zoom. We’ll talk about what you’d like support with, how Fun Mum Activation and personal message coaching work, and whether working together feels right for you. You’ll receive the price, payment and coaching terms before deciding whether to join. There’s no obligation to purchase.

Feel more confident about the mum you want to be through these years.

You want to enjoy your daughter’s company, understand more of her world and feel better equipped for the moments that challenge you both. You also want to feel proud of the woman she sees as she works out who she wants to become.

We can work on that together, starting with what’s happening now and the support you need to approach it differently.

Book your 15-minute discovery call ↗

Tell me what you’re finding difficult and what you’d love to feel different between you.